You wouldn’t believe how little trouble customers are. Most of them are actually life enhancing in all sorts of ways.
But there’s the odd one where nothing is ever straightforward and you know that any contact means trouble. There’s a woman locally who organises occasional dining events and even more occasionally orders bread. When we bumped into her at the weekend she had such an event coming off and announced enthusiastically she would order bread for it – two baguettes (£1.80)! Groaning inwardly I asked her to place an order in the usual way.
Tuesday txted Last Orders to customers. Phone beeped – she placed an order for three baguettes (£2.70). I was trying not to get over-excited. After the 6.00 p.m. deadline I made up the order, had it checked, printed it out, printed out the customers’ bills, made up my worksheet, printed it out.
Next morning refreshed my starters, made up my soakers, was in the middle of prepping when the phone beeped. Could she possible make it four baguettes (£3.60). So for an extra 90p I amend the order, the customer bills and my worksheet and print them all out again.
Thursday it’s a big bake and I have to start at 4.00 a.m. to get through it all. Finally manage to get in the bath about 7.00 p.m.
Herself arrives to collect the bread while I’m soaking (perhaps just as well). “Oooh!!”, she says to Sue, “I’ve come all unprepared!” meaning she hasn’t brought any money. She asks Sue if she will take a cheque (yes, it’s definitely as well I’m in the bath). Sue politely says that it’s not economical to take a cheque for £3.60. So herself says she put it through the door the following day.
Five days later I reflect that sometimes the absense of £3.60 can be preferable to having it delivered (which it hasn’t been).
The PArtisan Baker 
I know how you feel. I do pre-ordered dinners at weekends. I offer a soup, salad and two choices from the menu of main courses. Next week I have a booking for 13 and they would would like to have “small portions from every item on the menu”. I have informed them its a choice of two or nothing.
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Some good news, we have started getting paid in gold and silver coins. Its just beginning but getting more popular every week. We even attend a market each week where the only currency that can be used is gold and silver coins.
Priceless!
Hi Martin
Not a lot of gold and silver coming my way but every street corner seems to have a shop buying the stuff -sign of the time.
Morning Doctor
Day seven and counting – the suspense is killing.
Mick, I know this syndrome well – it’s a game that goes like this, if you never mention it again, then that means that 1) it didn’t mean that much to you; or 2) you are rewarding her for being such a good customer; or 3) you have an incredibly poor memory – in which case, she’s home free, and you can expect more such cleaver attempts. She will pay you, but only if and when you mention her outstanding obligation – this won’t bother her in the least, her logic being, all your best customers are surely due this same opportunity.
Happy waiting.